Forget Family Trees, I Found Myself
Recently, I’ve been digging into our family’s genealogy - learning about where we come from, filling some of the holes in the family tree, and researching the cities and towns my ancestors left for the call of the new promise of America. Much of this research was driven by my desire to understand where I came from, and in my mind, to gain a deeper understanding of who I am. It was as if I emptied the puzzle pieces of who I am out onto the table, but felt like I was missing some important pieces. Perhaps, if I found all of the things that led up to me, I would understand myself a little bit better.
I found some pretty amazing pieces. I tracked down grandparents that the rest of my family thought would be nearly impossible to find. I uncovered my deep roots in a pre-unified Italy, my shallow roots in Norway, and a tiny little branch all the way in Russia - verifying a long-held tale on my mother’s side that her great-grandmother was Russian. (We’re sorry, Grandma, for not believing that one!)
All of these wonderful pieces of my background were found, rediscovered, and uncovered. In the end, I had completed my family tree. I could see all of the branches clearly: who was in it, where they originated from, and how we came to be here in the great state of Minnesota.
But, what did it really change? For me, it really changed absolutely nothing.
After reflecting on all of this new-to-me information, I realized that none of it changed a single thing about who I am in any way, shape, or form. Part of me thought that all of this research would lead to some profound revelation about who I am and what my purpose is. Somehow, I thought, this new knowledge of my family would make who I am make more sense. Alas, the only thing it gave me was a list of names and a history of the freckles on my face. (Thank you, Irish ancestors, for that feature.)
Many of us are looking for something somewhere that has an elusive missing piece that will complete the puzzle of who we are. We’re constantly searching for answers to the question of who we are somewhere outside of us. We look at books, classes, social media influencers, and all sorts of people out there to fill the gaps that exist in here, inside of us.
What this process taught me is that all of the pieces we need to complete this puzzle are already right here, inside of us. I didn’t need to know who my family was to be complete and whole. And while those puzzle pieces inside of me are not always clear or laid out in perfect order, they’re all here and I have everything I need to be the best version of me.
Take a look at all of the puzzle pieces that make up who you are. What do you want to be? How can you organize them to be the best version of YOU? The family tree is just something nice to hang on the wall. Everything you need is already inside of you.
