Identifying a Destructive and Dysfunctional Workplace: How Do You Know if Your Organization is Toxic?
How do you know if you are part of a toxic organization?
For the past 20-plus years, I have been studying the destructive and dysfunctional impact of hazing on organizations, which resulted in the 2018 publication of my book, “Building Up Without Tearing Down.” In the book, I propose a positive and powerful path for personal and organizational transformation.
As I promoted the book amongst my family and friends on social media, a friend of a friend asked whether or not “Building up without tearing down” was applicable to the workplace. I honestly did not have a good answer at the time. Although the book dissected and examined destructive and dysfunctional organizational cultures, I did not write the book with people’s workplaces specifically in mind. The book’s focus, after all, was that of a more personal leadership journey.
Since then, however, my eyes have been opened and I have seen that so many of the elements of those toxic cultures also can be present in our workplaces.
“We don’t have time for this,” the boss snapped. “Let’s move on to somebody who has put more thought into this.”
I was stunned.
A few minutes before, the members of our small work team had gathered for one of our regular meetings. We were discussing the main agenda item, which was to: “Report out: Specialty Area Strategy pre-work for each specialty area & combine to one overall strategy!”
As the first member of the team opened a document on her laptop and began discussing a document she had drafted for her own pre-work, one of the other team members who was immediately to my left began jotting down a few notes about her assigned specialty area. Seeing this, I pulled out my notebook and began to organize my own thoughts, making a few notes based on meetings I had had with each of my key stakeholders, as well as information I had gathered as the person who oversaw a program that represented every other person’s areas.
Then, a sharp and sudden rebuke stopped my pen in mid-sentence.
“Chad, if you aren’t prepared, this is not the time to scribble some things down,” the boss interjected, before encouraging everybody to return their attention to the first team member’s report.
Soon thereafter, it was time for the next person to report out her pre-work, and that person was the one seated to my left whose decision to write down a few notes prompted me to follow her lead. When the second person had finished reporting out, the boss remarked, “Thank you for all of the effort and time you put into this.”
As the next person in line, I began to share my thoughts.
The boss abruptly cut me off, announcing to the rest of the team that I had not invested enough thought and time into my pre-work.
I was humiliated.
Now, as the boss sought to “move on to somebody who has put more thought into” the pre-work, the only other person who had yet to report out was the boss herself.
Still shaken by what had happened, I took out my laptop and began frantically searching for whatever information I had missed in my preparation for our team’s meeting. The agenda for the meeting clearly stated the expectation was to “report out,” which I felt prepared to do. I turned my attention to looking for any messages that had been sent in the intervening months since we had discussed the project. Two months before, the boss had sent an email that she “hoped to have a ‘template’ for a basic strategy document,” and just two weeks before, another team member replied to the group, “there’s no set structure for what these look like.”
I then reviewed several documents on the team’s shared drive, but I still could not find any specifications for what we were to provide at that day’s meeting.
I was completely flummoxed by what was going on.
I raised my hand to ask a question.
I listed each of the documents and messages I had reviewed in those few short moments and asked, “Can you help me figure out what I’m missing?”
The boss responded that she had clearly communicated the expectations.
I again asked where those expectations had been communicated. At this time, because I had been out of the office for my father’s funeral and a couple of trips out-of-state to help my mom thereafter, I was concerned that I had missed a piece of important information in my absence.
The boss at this time was becoming visibly annoyed. She rolled her eyes and said she wasn’t going to waste the team’s time by pointing out what she already had clearly communicated. She stressed that it had been my responsibility to make sure I understood her expectations for the pre-work we were to do.
After this, I raised the question, “If only one other person had the final product you expected, can we consider that maybe there was a breakdown in our communication as a team?”
“Could we use the current situation to improve how we operate as a team?” I thought.
Unable to consider that maybe a mistake had been made, as well as ignoring an opportunity to examine and improve our communication as a team, the boss instead came back with an ad hominem attack, claiming in front of the team that I was unable to keep up with my responsibilities.
At this time, I became keenly aware that nobody else was engaging in this conversation.
I was all alone.
I remained silent for the remainder of the meeting. However, the boss continued to make attacks on my character throughout the meeting, periodically remarking, “I want to make sure you aren’t confused, Chad.”
It is very hard for me to share this story-even after a long time has passed. I’m concerned some people may implore me to “move on,” or accuse me of trying to make the boss look bad.
Nonetheless, I chose to share this story for a very specific reason.
Above, I asked, “How do you know if you are part of a toxic organization?”
Organizations, at the most basic level, are groups of people who come together to accomplish a goal or mission. In other words, organizations exist at the intersection of people and purpose.
The quality of the relationships in a group, organization, or team, have a direct impact on the ability of the group to accomplish its purpose. If those relationships are healthy, the organization is healthy. If unhealthy, it will result in a toxic organization.
Fortunately, there are tell-tale signs of unhealthy relationships, such as Dr. John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of communication styles that herald the end of relationships.
In the Bible’s Book of Revelation, four horsemen are signs of the end of the world. In the Gottman’s work, these Four Horsemen describe communication styles that portend the end of relationships.
Criticism: Criticizing a colleague or employee is different than constructive feedback, or even providing negative feedback. The difference is that, although feedback and complaints are focused on issues and observable situations (what somebody did), criticism is focused on somebody’s character (who somebody is).
Contempt: Contempt oftentimes is the next, more destructive step after criticism. To treat somebody with contempt is to treat them with disrespect, which can include subtle cues such as eye-rolling or scoffing, or less subtle signs such as calling somebody names, mocking, or ridiculing them. The outcome is that the other person is made to feel inferior and worthless.
Defensiveness: The third destructive communication style is defensiveness, which is characterized by avoiding responsibility at all costs.
Stonewalling: The fourth and final “horseman” occurs when one person ceases to participate in a discussion, or even the relationship as a whole.
Each of us spends more time at work than anywhere else, except in our beds sleeping each night. The quality of our relationships in our workplaces, therefore, has an enormous impact on the quality of our lives.
On top of that, these types of toxic behaviors not only inhibit people from performing at their best, it also has real, tangible impacts on their physical health. If we want to get the best out of people, we have to first look for the best inside of them and invest in the quality of our relationships with each and every one of them.
The need for “building up without tearing down” in the workplace has never been more needed, and I’m inviting you to join me in cultivating courageous cultures at work.
In the coming months, I’ll be using this blog to provide you with ideas and strategies for identifying destructive and dysfunctional behaviors, tackling toxic cultures, and empowering the people in your workplaces. Please join me in this effort to transform our teams into the healthy and high-performing groups they have the power to be.
If you have your own story of a toxic workplace you are comfortable sharing, you can do so anonymously or confidentially (if you choose to share your name) here: https://bit.ly/ToxicCulturesAtWork
