Leadership Goes to the Dogs
In our home, we have two boys, a cat, and a dog. As it turns out, each of our two sons has his own favorite pet. Our older one, Joey, adores the cat, while Paul, the younger son, favors the dog.
The inverse is also true, as each of the boys demonstrates a level of annoyance whenever his non-favorite pet gets a little too close.
One day, Joey came home early from school with a mild fever. As is the case when anybody in our family is ill, Joey changed into his pajamas and proceeded to Mom and Dad’s room to rest.
After a few minutes, I went into the bedroom and found Joey with a grimace on his face. The look on his face was not a reaction to his illness, however, but rather a result of the presence of our dog, Barry, curled up just a few inches from him.
As I moved my eyes from Joey to Barry, I noticed an unmistakable look of concern on the dog’s face. Even though Paul is the one who embraces Barry as his “twin brother,” while Joey just tolerates the dog, Barry was there at Joey’s side.
On this day, Barry knew Joey wasn’t feeling well. For Barry, I can imagine he saw this as his essential job to be there for Joey because of how Joey felt, not because of how Joey felt about the dog.
This simple scene shows what leadership is all about.
As a leader, it is your job to show up and to support people whether they like you or not. Your role is to serve others, not for others to serve you.
In an interview published on May 8, 2019 in Forbes magazine, Ken Blanchard, one of the world’s most renowned experts on leadership, observed:
When I ask people whether they’d like to be known as a servant leader or a self-serving leader, everyone says “servant leader.” Nobody wants to be known as a self-serving leader. Yet we observe self-serving leadership all the time. Why? The human ego… The antidote for false pride is humility. People who are humble have solid self-esteem. It’s been said “they don’t think less of themselves, they just think of themselves less.” We have choices every day as we interact with other people. Humility tames our judgmental nature and motivates us to support and encourage others.
Even though we may not be aware of it, the question of whether or not we can trust somebody is always on our minds whenever we interact with others. It is our ability to detect potential threats, after all, that fuels the “fight, flight, or freeze” physiological response. We are constantly, subconsciously scanning for potential threats, including whether or not somebody else has negative intentions toward us and whether or not that person can act on those intentions. When we perceive negative intentions and the ability to act on them, we begin to feel anxious, which is biological evidence of the stress-driven “fight, flight, or freeze” response.
Leaders who sacrifice employees in order to advance their own interests or who take credit for others’ work are perceived as potential threats, since they have shown that their intentions are only as good as what benefits or rewards may be awaiting them.
Thus, psychological safety can’t be faked; it is the product of a consistent, unambiguous pattern of reliable behavior, rather than mere intentions or words. Our behaviors over time become the evidence that allows people to experience a sense of belonging and to make deeper commitments to the team and its work.
Our physiology as human beings holds the potential for us to either bring our best selves to work or to withhold our ideas, perspectives, and talents out of fear of embarrassment, marginalization, or punishment. We are constantly trying to determine whether or not it is safe to be ourselves.
The most effective leaders demonstrate an unwavering commitment to creating a culture of psychological safety, thereby fostering an environment that empowers every individual to bring their best talents and most insightful perspectives to the table.
We all benefit when that happens.
