Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss without Losing Your Humanity (My 3 Takeaways)
In her 2017 book, “Radical Candor,” author Kim Scott argued that a leader’s relationships with others throughout the organization are the most important part of their job description.
“Radical Candor puts building good relationships at the center of a boss’s job,” Scott said. “In fact, my favorite lines in the whole book are these: ‘Relationships are core to your job. If you think that you can [fulfill your responsibilities as a manager] without strong relationships, you are kidding yourself,’” (p. xiii-xiv).
Good relationships are characterized by “Radical Candor,” Scott said, which exists at the intersection of “caring personally” and “challenging directly.” Too little of both leads to “Manipulative Insincerity.” A deficit of caring results in “Obnoxious Aggression,” while a lack of challenging directly ends in “Ruinous Empathy.”
Radical Candor is not only powerful, but scalable, as it possesses the potential to transform the culture of the organization.
“The relationships you have with your direct reports will impact the relationships they have with their direct reports. The ripple effect will go a long way toward creating-or destroying-a positive culture. Relationships may not scale, but culture does,” (p. xxviii).
“At the very heart of being a good boss-at Apple, at Google, or anywhere else on earth-is a good relationship,” (p. xxviii).
Here are my three biggest takeaways.
Takeaway #1 - Caring Comes First
How do you feel when somebody asks if they can be “candid” with you? If you’re like me, you brace yourself for blunt feedback. When somebody asks if they can be “candid,” it’s less a request and more an early alert that a “truth bomb” is about to be dropped on me.
This visceral reaction to the the concept “Radical Candor” was assuaged by Scott’s insistence that “caring personally” comes first.
“The first dimension (caring personally) is about being more than ‘just professional.’ Scott said. “It’s about giving a damn, sharing more than just your work self, and encouraging everyone who reports to you to do the same. It’s not enough to care only about people’s ability to perform a job. To have a good relationship, you have to be your whole self and care about each of the people who work for you as a human being. It’s not just business; it is personal, and deeply personal,” (p. 9).
This commitment to caring about the people that work for you in a deeply personal way even surpasses a person’s desire to avoid being wrong or even to be liked.
“Challenging others and encouraging them to challenge you helps build trusting relationships because it shows 1) you care enough to point out both the things that aren’t going well and those that are and that 2) you are willing to admit when you’re wrong and that you are committed to fixing mistakes that you or others have made,” (p. 14).
Scott also points out that both “caring personally” and “challenging directly” are “measured at the listener’s ear, not at the speaker’s mouth,” (p. 16), which emphasizes that leadership more others-centered than self-centric.
Leaders need to be prepared to do what is right for others before concerning themselves about how they themselves are treated. Leaders show the way by first going the way.
Takeaway #2 - Then, Give Guidance
After the foundation of the relationship has been established, it is easier to get, give, and encourage guidance, or “challenge directly.” As is the case with most things, the culture is established not by the leader’s words, but by the leader’s actions.
“Bosses get Radically Candid guidance from their teams not merely by being open to criticism but by actively soliciting it. If a person is bold enough to criticize you, do not critique their criticism… But if somebody criticizes you inappropriately, your job is to listen with the intent to understand and then to reward the candor,” (p. 34).
The ability to “challenge directly” is a natural result of “caring personally” because it is an opportunity to give guidance in a way that helps the other person. If a person cares more for themselves than the person to whom they’re giving feedback, that guidance may be too harsh (“obnoxious aggression,” when one wants to be dominant over the other person) or too vague (“ruinous empathy,” when one wants to be liked).
This becomes a critical ingredient in the ability to perform at a high level, where every member of the team possesses learner safety, which empowers people to learn from their failures and their successes. The highest performing teams not only tolerate, but welcome, critical feedback as an opportunity to continuously “raise the bar” of their performance.
In the words of Brené Brown, being clear is being kind, and being unclear is unkind.
“Obnoxious Aggression is debilitating, particularly at the extreme. When bosses belittle employees, embarrass them publicly, or freeze them out, their behavior falls into this quadrant. This Obnoxious Aggression sometimes gets great results short-term but leaves a trail of dead bodies in its wake in the long run,” (p. 25).
Taken to this extreme, displays of obnoxious aggression become forms of sport or opportunities to display dominance, which are clear signs of toxic cultures.
The other side of this, however, also limits opportunities for increasing performance.
“When bosses are too invested in everyone getting along, they also fail to encourage people on their team to criticize one another for fear of sowing discord. They create the kind of work environment where ‘being nice’ is prioritized at the expense of critiquing, and therefore, improving actual performance,” (p. 32).
Wherever there is a goal to be achieved, the path to higher performance is paved by the leader’s example of soliciting feedback and taking it to heart-even when those words may be hard to hear.
“Bosses get Radically Candid guidance from their teams not merely by being open to criticism but by actively soliciting it. If a person is bold enough to criticize you, do not critique their criticism… But if somebody criticizes you inappropriately, your job is to listen with the intent to understand and then to reward the candor,” (p. 34).
Takeaway #3 - Finally, Accomplish Together
The basic premise of this book is that the open, unfiltered exchange of feedback and information is essential to a group’s success. When leaders isolate themselves or limit who can share their opinions or how those opinions can be shared, the quality of the work suffers.
“Telling people what to do didn’t work. At a time when we were obviously in need of big changes, it had seemed like it was the fastest way forward, but it wasn’t. First, because I didn’t involve my team in decision-making; I just made the decisions myself. Second, because even after making them I didn’t take the time to explain why or to persuade the team I’d made good decisions,” (p. 78).
This process not only involves receiving feedback and information, but being transparent about how leaders are responding to the perspectives shared with them. When contrary points of view are ignored or silenced, the number of perspectives shared will decrease.
How can you create a culture that invites and welcomes all points of view?
“The keys are 1) have a simple system for employees to use to generate ideas and voice complaints, 2) make sure that at least some of the issues raised are quickly addressed, and 3) regularly offer explanations as to why the other issues aren’t being addressed,” (p. 86).
When ideas and perspectives are freely shared, and when critical feedback is invited, ideas, initiatives, and products are polished and made stronger, which ensures that not only the best decisions are made, but that those decisions are well thought out and ready to be implemented.
“The good news is that you learned the secret to sharing your logic in high school math class: show your work. When Steve Jobs had an idea, he wouldn’t just describe the idea; he’d share how he got to it. He showed his work. This signaled that if there was a flaw in his reasoning, he wanted to know about it. And if there wasn't’, people would be more likely to accept his idea. Showing his work was what strengthened his logic and ultimately made him not only persuasive but ‘always getting it right,’” (p. 105).
Bonus Takeaway - Tons of Tools & Techniques
The above takeaways are merely my biggest takeaways from the first part of the book. The entire second part of the book, aptly labeled “Tools & Techniques” provides direct guidance and examples to implement the principles of Radical Candor, including conversation guides for one-to-one meetings between leaders and direct reports, strategies for giving feedback in a way that minimizes defensive responses, tips for building trusting and vulnerable relationships, and a sample agenda for staff meetings, just to name a few.
